The One-Piece OversuitJanuary 17, 2016
I met an old wizened and bearded man, on the top of what must have been the highest hill in the local area. His face etched and sculpted by years of toil and concentration, he was busying himself with hammer and nails; saw and sandpaper; obviously not keen to engage in trivial conversation.
This man was seriously preoccupied.
Two Sheep shuffled by…….
I asked him what he was doing.
“What?” he barked, obviously irritated at my interruption.
Two Aardvarks ambled along………
I asked again………..
“Building a boat”, he said sharply, in a dialect which I could not place.
Two Llamas loped past…….
“You don’t watch the weather reports, do you?” he mumbled.
Two Nimble-Footed Rock Hyrax hopped nimbly by…….
“You really should watch the weather reports, you know”
Then the skies darkened and the grey, foreboding heavens were suddenly torn asunder. Great claps of angry thunder reverberated and ricocheted amongst the deep, dank valleys and dark surrounding hills.
And it rained……………and rained………………
I mean, this was not just “cats and dogs” rain; this was serious “I can’t see what the ****’s going on!” type rain.
A terrible torrent; a wondrous water-wall; a disastrous deluge.
Like greased lightning, I donned my trusty one-piece oversuit.
I knew instinctively that once ensconced in my super-hero costume, I would be immune to most of what nature and her dog could throw at me.
Designed to be worn over your normal riding kit, a one piece oversuit is unlined and has no body armour. Its purpose is purely and simply to isolate you from the wet stuff.
Now, let’s be honest – any nylon oversuit would win no fashion contests.
It would also be totally unsuitable for your wedding, barmitzva or first date.
Neither should you consider buying one for that special meeting with your bank manager.
But as an efficacious defence against the unpredictable and generally unwelcome British elements, it is a weapon of the first degree.
Available in black or black (and sometimes in fluorescent yellow), they usually have a long diagonal front zip (with Velcro storm-flap) making emergency entry simple and quick, should the occasion arise. Highly visible reflective strips defend against night attack from myopic tin-box pilots and Velcro secures a high and comfortably lined collar, keeping out the worst of the inclement weather.
The waist is normally elasticated or belted, in order to stop you looking too much like the old Michelin Man (have you noticed how they slimmed the new guy down?).
Ample leg length with elasticated ankle and stud fasteners ensures cosy calves.
Wrists are similarly catered for with elastic or Velcro closure, adequate for under or over the glove application: the choice is yours (although getting the sleeves over your gloves is more advisable).
Remember when buying, that this suit goes over your normal riding gear, so make sure it’s big enough; too tight and the seams will stretch and leak.
Long term testing has shown that these suits, which can retail for less than £40, are hard wearing, comfortable and waterproof (for the first 18 months at least – after 4 years, mine is now leaking slightly in a most delicate area).
A one-piece oversuit also provides a welcome extra layer of insulation, separating your body from the relentlessly invading icy fingers of winter. The suit may have external pockets, complete with Velcro fastened storm-flaps. Tip: do not put your sandwiches in here…they can leak like a sieve (although if you ever have to transport a goldfish, then this is the place to put it!).
And if you happen to be the sort of spineless, snivelling, wimpy excuse for a biker who just cannot bear to venture out in temperatures below 20 degrees Celsius, then there are also deluxe lined versions available, for added comfort and snugness / smugness!
All in all, once you are installed (two by two – two legs; two arms; two …..) in this simple modern day synthetic Ark, you are effectively safe and secure from all precipitation, whether great or small.
Buy one and stash it in your tankbag/tailpack/seathump etc. ASAP, and make our motorcycling world a sunnier and happier place! (it never rains if you carry your waterproofs)
And don’t forget, if you train with Vision, we will give you 10% off clothing and accessories!
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